27 February 2013

The Epiphany

It happened. This morning. I got up to shower ready for work and those darned scales caught my eye. Eh, should weight and make sure I am doing ok, I think as I begrudgingly step on.
Wait what?! another kilo heavier... I jump in the shower with a million things going through my head. Could it be fluid? I did drink a lot yesterday  What have I been eating? I can't think of anything particularly bad.. So myself gave me a quick kick and said "Right! This is it, it all has to change now! Your clothes are getting tighter, its just not healthy to live like this. It stops here, right here in this shower and it changes now!" It was almost like I was disciplining my inner child, really quite weird.

I sat down and told Moo, I must do this, I must start again and change my ways. My fingers have even gained enough that I had to remove my now uncomfortable wedding and engagement rings ;-( It wasn't that long ago I had to take them off because they kept falling off! Moo is always supportive and of course loves me for who I am and will help in any way possible. I would just like to be able to love myself as much and feel more comfortable in my own skin.

The plan, in my head at least, is to use some meal replacement shakes, especially on my work days. Only one per day is enough to kick start my metabolism and I will use some sort of calorie tracking software. I have used Calorie King before. Today I have found My Fitness Pal which looks interesting and I can update it from my phone. I am going to work on them and see which suits better for what I need.
I did buy a box of shakes today, on sale (short dated) although not a brand that I had used before thought it would make for a good start. BLEAGH! they are horrid! I am thankful there are only 9 left, they were super cheap and I am going to try it with water next time and hope my regular ones go on sale somewhere in the next week. I did also have to go and eat 2 biscuits as I forgot to get fruit on my way back to work, my head was starting to hurt from the lack of food, I was just unprepared.

This is just the latest in a lot that has been happening in the past few weeks. As much as I hate it, money is the centre of our universe right now. We are doing ok and the bills are getting paid which is the main thing with some savings being put towards things that need to be done.
My life is just feeling very overwhelming and out of control right now. So many changes is a very short amount of time and having trouble adjusting I think. I just want to shirk all of my responsibilities and hide for a while but that isn't going to help anyone. My children need me to show them how to deal with things. Tomorrow is a new day, take a deep breath and on we go!

xx Natanie


  1. Keep it up, you can do it! :-)
    I have used MyPlate (LiveStrong's traker) and it was OK but too many options. I like Paleotrack.com, but too few food options. The one that Jules recommended is good but the site has some technical issues on my computer (and I think you said you can't access it?). Whatever you choose, good luck and keep working at it!

  2. Good luck with this. Rearranging habits is rough but as you say we need to make good examples for the next generation.

    It sounds like you have good backup at home.

  3. I also need to rethink my lifestyle - I have put on 2 kg in a year and though it doesn't sound like much, my clothes are tight! So I have been TRYING to get myself into a tiny exercise routine that's not too strenuous but it's not going well at the moment... I need to crack the laziness.

    Sounds like life is really busy for you at the moment! Hope it calms down soon :)

  4. I've been doing shakes for just over a fortnight now, and have also switched to weight watchers frozen dinners to get my portion sizes under control. I felt like crap the first week or so; I was always so hungry and cranky! But now I feel like I'm coming out of a kind of daze.It's nice to actually feel human when I get out of bed now.

    Good luck with your plan! I'll be cheering you on :)